06-29 Damages

I clipped the rose petals off,
while exclaiming about their smell,
smashing their orange-tinged perfume into the cement,
with my unkempt dancing feet,
remarking on the unparalleled beauty of
form, function,
poise, and purpose
continuing to gush idly in
bouquets of gratitude and gratuity,
isn't he beautiful,
while in horror,
you raised an eyebrow,
crossed your legs,
and sighed,
and thanked
the blue sky above,
I forgot to sharpen the blades.

06-28 Damn You Robert.

to where it bent in the undergrowth,
the path less traveled,
etched blueberry stretch marks,
on my stomach and pits,
bit the bluegrass tweedling mosquito between my toes,
shattered my overgrown knees with hoary ice picks,
grew needles swift and thin through my spruce-ed up nose,
seared butter and flour blind into my eyes,
screamed a cursing baying cayenne into my ears,
scalded the tongue with vodka, garlic, and banjo fried,
but left my heart,
to the feasting, howling, pack-crazed hunger,
of the never-evening, somewhat summer,
always winter, lonesome, yellow wild eyed,
cry.

06-27 Maybe

Maybe you falter,
maybe you miss a step,
maybe you skip a beat,
maybe you were meant too...

twist
and turn,
death in one hand,
life in the other,
heart on the waist,
song on the shoulder,

Maybe,
this is why
they call it dancing.

Maybe,
this is why I wear the blindfold...

so I falter,
so I miss a step,
so I skip a beat,
and there,
in the twist,
and turn,
court
death in one hand,
life in the other,
place
my heart on your waist,
my song on your shoulder,
and dance..

the wind into the night,
twisting, turning,
the wind into the dawn,
twisting, turning,
the wind,

into your arms
death in one hand,
life in the other,
heart on the waist,
song on my shoulder,

twisting, turning.

06-26 love poem?

Do you think,
he can smell,
the bitter wild of
the pine trees
in my underarms,
beneath the freshly
caked anti-perspirent
of cement, fresh baked bread,
and exhaust,
leftover from where I rolled,
in the fenced,
dog park,
near my salmon pink house?

06-25 Bitch Slap

I might just bitch slap myself today.
Why?
because I can,
because someone should,
and I won't let you,
I have authority issues,
so thank you,
I'll do it myself,
no really,
I insist,
Now that I've gone mad,
I'm comfortable,
and
well aware,
of the kay-kay,
in my crazy,
and the proper,
five-second dosage,
of delivered sanity,
needed to sober,
up the sweet-jesus,
oh my god,
of my soul,
that ran around the corner,
like a school girl,
in second grade,
and is still running,

(pause)

yep,

wait,

oh f,

maybe you should do the honors?
I'm blushing too much.

06-24 Blackberry Bruises

Have you walked across town in high-heeled boots
carrying a crate of blackberries and raspberries,
in a lavender striped, button down,
skinny-jeaned, fedora, rain,
dripping, sweating,
hot mess,
of a
sexed
up
non-
hipster?

6-23 what the wish heard

I'm told when I close my eyes,
I should know what I want-
when I make a wish,

but all I hear,

is the white falling noise,
of summer rain,
pouring outside the kitchen window,

the cautious heavy breathing,
of my lungs on automatic,
filling up with air,

the heart panting,
running,
between the raindrops,
to stay dry,

the mind,
whistling the wind,
in the tall spruce hollows,
of another,

winter.

06-22 Undone

I am not him.

screaming as loud as my heart dares

I AM NOT HIM.

but I am scared,

so I look away,
while straight men,
gay men,
muscle their pants,
to the floor,
apathetic,
to the panting,
wolf pack,
that paces,
circling,
circling,

forming,

the silk of my mind,
twisting in orange, green,
black and grey,
around my neck,
tighter,
tighter,

tighter,
I whimper,
tighter,

spinning me,
in the round,
round and round,
he grabs my arms,
spinning me,
to let go,
in the round,
round and round,
circle
of the pack,
spinning me,
watching me,
letting go,
leaving,

the

unraveling,
undone,

you can't cry

undone.

06-21 Five A.M.

and.

I am standing,

on a porch,

before the shadows

of morning form the day,

with.

a white rose,

dripping,

note taped,

black-inked lettered,

poetry undone,

to make way,

for.

the whispers in my ear,

I am back world.

I am back.

06-20 You Are

You are beautiful to me.
And I am not blind.

You are beautiful to me,
because I am not blind.

You are beautiful to me,
and everyday,
I see it.

Everyday.

I see it,
everyday,
I see you,
you are beautiful to me.

You are beautiful to me,
everyday,
I am not blind.

I see it.

I am not blind,
and I can see it.

I am not blind,
and I see you.

I see you.

I see you,
everyday,
and you are,

beautiful,

to me.

06-19 Bells

All the bells were blooming,
in spreading green fans of light,
beneath,
and up I saw,
movement,
breath,
above reaching out,
laughing,
I sat,
beneath,
and up,
above,
reaching out,
bells blooming with light.

06-18 For You Amir

The piano starts to play.

adagio.

He goes home.
He sits down on the couch.
He closes his eyes.
Why?

Black keys,
soft,
on the thunder of rain,
scatter,
on his face,
black keys,
soft,

pianonissimo,,

soft,
white keys
on his face,
the thunder of rain,
scatters,
white keys,

He opens his eyes.
He gets off the couch.
He answers the phone.

adagio

The piano sits alone.

Playing.

6- 16 Letter to Mr. Snow

Mr. Snow,

I've decided,
to stay,
to sing,
to live,
to learn,
to love,

or at least,

I've decided
to try,
to stay,
to sing,
to live,
to learn,
to love,

however,
you,
with the eyes,
that split emeralds into sapphires,
with that hands,
that sing the words you can not write,
with the voice,
I don't want to hear,
because,
I'm afraid,

you,
are not the only,
one with eyes,
that want to see again,
with the hands,
that want to sing the light,
with the voice,
that craves to be understood,
and
I'm afraid,
for me,

but I wanted you to know,
because,
I have a past,
and I won't repeat it,
not willingly,
not for you,
not for anyone,

so tread carefully,
I am not who I used to be,
but it is,
the moments of now,
that I am falling for,
one cadence at a time,

you know nothing,
Mr. Snow.

06-15 One (Reprise)

5, 6, 7, 8,

ONE,

pop,
flash,
glove,
sizzle,
flash,
giggle,
pop,

SMILE,

singular sensation,
every move that we,

twist, pivot,
text,
tighten,
text,
twist,
kick,
bevel,

ONE,

thrilling combination,

omg,

boys,
hug,
pinch,
flirt
cry,
text,
twist,
cry again,

cause'

nobody else will do,

never be,
always with,
One hundred and fifty,
left kicks, right kicks,

flash,
pop,

heart,

smile,

ONE.

6-14 Dear Mrs. Poppins

Dear Mrs. Poppins,

Hi. It's Tim Rains,
from Portland Oregon.

I got your package.
It read, for safekeeping,
but please don't open me.

What were you thinking?
Mrs. Poppins,
Are you crazy?
It started raining.,

Can you blame me?

It's the city.
It kept on raining.
It went on raining.

Then it got crazy.
It got crazy.
A super-cali kind-a crazy.

So.
Please.

Mrs. Poppins
I've had more than a spoonful,
of your cuper-cali-kind-a crazy.

I don't need crazy.
I've got crazy,
coming out in,
mouthfuls. So please.
Mrs. Poppins,
before you send me,
another package,
think it over,
because,
it's me,
Mrs. Poppins,
I'm already kind of crazy,
Mrs. Poppins,
cause,
I,
believe.

Thinking of you always,
Love,
Me.

6-13 What Radio Station Is That?

When the night has come,
and the land is dark,
something, something,
only light you see-ee-eee,
the saxaphone wails,
my moon in to the sky,
throwing stars into hissy fits,
while I dance,
welcoming the rain,
to step in time with me,
darling,
darling,
welcome the rain,
and step in time with me,
the night has come,
and the laaaand is dark,
and the moon,
sigh,
siiiiiigh,
the moooooon,
is the only light,
I see.
(wink, wink)

6-12 Rough-neck

The parade-

smashed the chords,

and cymbals of their laughter,

drowning,

out the sound, 

of choking and coughing,

while I was punched,

in the stomach,

as the clowns,

jesters,

and jokers,

around me,

gassed themselves,

clawing at their eyes,

painting their mouths,

it was all I could do, 

not to stare at the paint splotch,

on the back of your neck,

and wonder. 

6-11 The Long Look

I cried.
Because I'm a parent.
Because if it were me,
I'd be scared.

... and it's not me.

I don't attack moose,
kill squirrels,
though I will roll in the grass,
lay in the sun,
and eat gluten-free, grain free treats,
so I cried...

and got one lick,
a long look,
as I walked out the door,
before it became a ridiculous mess,
like when my mom left me at preschool,
I remember that,
dark, stormy, and whaaaat?
at least it's raining today.

6-10 Low Blood Sugar

My feet dance-
upon slices of bread,
floating a running river.

My mouth forms-
"O" bubbles,
a pop-splash chorus.

My ears scream-
into the roar,
of freighters,
colliding,
gulls,
screaming,
foghorns,
cursing-

adrift in a flurry of flotsam flailing.

06-9 Hmmm

and maybe you'll surprise me,
one can hope?
there's that pesky getting to know you thing,
but maybe,
it's there for a reason,
just maybe,
they were right,
and I should listen,
but tell that to a man
who courts patience,
as a lover with ADD,
right?

06-8 Eight

you think this one's about you,
but it's more about,
me and my phone,
and texting,
crazy,
into the night,
holding eight different conversations,
while my mind spiraled,
and came up with,
eight different scenarios,
in which you,
became eight different people
while I counseled,
cajooled,
and commutted,
with
eight,
dude,
why?

06-07 Acceptance.

Acceptance.
After the rush of mornings,
volcanic, spurted writing,
the banjo strummed,
while the last few notes of the day,
drifted between and from,
And I.
Acceptance.

06-06 Never Alone

Never alone.

Death holds my left hand,
while she holds the other-

Shadow brothers,
cradle me,
Wind cousin,
rock me gently,
into the stars.

Never alone.

06-5 Brave

I'm brave.

Or so I've been told.
... I'm not like you.
... I just can't.
... You just seem too.

I'm brave.

Because you want me to be.

You, world, you,
didn't ask,
just assumed,
I would be okay with this,
you demanded,
and so,

what's a guy to do?

I'm brave.
Yeah.
I can see how you'd think that.
But I can't look back,
and you can't,
because,
this silly blindfold you make me wear.

I remember who you are.
Everyday.
I remember,
and I fall all over again,
and I remember,
and I know.

That makes me Brave?

Silly blindfold-
can't you see,
the stars falling from my eyes?

Brave, pshaw.

Oh, sweetie. 

Brave.

6-4 Brunch

If I could gather them all up,
all my poppies,
and serve mimosas,
at 10:00 a.m,
what would we talk about?

Am I that self-centered,
to wonder who will fade first?

Who will bend to the wind?
and who
lastly,
sweetly,
will remind me euphorically-
a blue sky summer?

Drink up,
untie this ribbon,
leave my glass a quarter full.
save a few wedges of melon for dessert,

The lawn needs mowing today.

06-03 Nice Try

There are days when,
the world is cruel enough,
and tries-

to twist,
this crooked boy a straight tie,
but not today,
not today world.

Today,

I get to fly my crooked colors thigh-high,
arch my back and SCREAM,
with guilt-free pleasure,
"STRAIGHTEN THIS RAINBOW,
BEYAATCH",

today,
I get to fly,
today,

I celebrate,
what all you straight boys,
out there,
just don't get,
but want,

...and yeah I got it,
always will,

ain't nothing you can do about it,

-freedom.

6-02 Should Be

All my evenings,
should be this golden.

All my evenings,
should be,
this painted,

this-

watercolor shadow-way,
all my evenings-

should be.
golden.

06-01 Bought the Ticket

When the train stops by,
I'll hand the conductor her leash,
and get on, without my bags,
behind me the lamplight, will flicker,
and then go out,
I'll find a seat, by the window,
where I can watch the night grow blacker,
as I fade to an imprint of a shadow,
who will sit with me then?