3-15 Now Accepting Applications For A Perfect Husband

Misters of the Greater Portland,
Misters of the Greater Portland,
Interviews begin this morning,
It's time I found the perfect husband,
you could be my perfect husband, but
Misters of the Greater Portland,
Misters of the Greater Portland,
read the fine print,
Misters of the Greater Portland,
the applications comes,
with a stern warning,

must be tall
and rather witty,
on my arm,
you'll carry pretty,
likes to charm,
no harm,

has a smile,
which hearts a mountain,
eats gelato,
next to a fountain,
when you sing,
bells ring,

Misters of the Greater Portland,
if you think sex is important,
yes it's true my tale is sordid,
but read these words,
and heed this warning,

must have a job,
a necessary,
benefits and never any,
episodes, cause I've got,
loads,

must be kind,
and kind of crazy,
likes to travel,
but cuddles lazy,
afternoons,
is it too soon?

Misters of the Greater Portland.
Misters of the Greater Portland.
Misters of the Greater Portland.
There's just one fact which I'm ignoring,
there's one final note of warning,

although I'm tall,
and rather witty,
on your arm,
I'll carry pretty,
I like to charm,
and not cause harm,
I have a smile,
which hearts a mountain,
but eats gelato,
next to a fountain,
and when I sing,
bells will ring,
but I don't have a job,
it's unnecessary,
cause you've got benefits,
and never any,
episodes,
cause I have loads,
and yes I'm kind,
but kind of crazy,
I like to travel,
but cuddle lazy,
in the afternoons,
it's what I do,

Misters of the Greater Portland,
I'd make me the perfect husband,
but I can't date me,
legally,
(plus no job)
so don't be silly,
Misters of the Greater Portland,
Misters of the Greater Portland,
if you want to be my perfect husband,
Misters of the Greater Portland,
all those qualities, are great niceties,
but you, my proud and perfect husband,
my mister of the Greater Portland,
you,
must,
love,
me.

sincerely,
Mister Timothy.