1-31 Waiting For You

when I was young,
or younger, than I am
at heart now,
I believed in everything,
everything anyway,
a heart as young as mine,
could believe in,
when I was young,

you would awake me,
awake me, quietly,
when the moon had already
gone to bed, with me,
in bed, awake, quietly,
waiting for you,
to awake me,
when I was young,

we went outside,
folding chairs, pistachios,
in hand, looking up
and out, we went outside,
folding chairs, under our arms,
pistachios in your pocket,
looking up and out,
when you would awake me,

the night unfolded,
the moon in bed,
before us,
swaths of sparkling lampposts,
guides, beckoning, in our lawn-chairs,
looking up at the night unfolding,
in swaths of sparkling, lampposts,
flickering, river guides, beckoning,
pistachios in hand,
I believed in everything,
looking up and out,
I believed in everything,
when I was young,

time passes,
I grow,
you still wake me up,
the heart grows,
I grow,
you still wake me up,
time passes,
I grow,
the heart grows,
younger, older,
I believe in everything,
pistachios in my hand,
folding chairs, put away,
I grow,
time passes,

the moon returns to my bed,
before us,
wakes me up,
quietly,
waiting for time to pass,
to grow, quietly,
the heart unfolding,
the moon in my bed,
awake,
a flickering lamppost,
in the night sky,
when I am young,
when you were young,
well, younger than my heart is now,
we believed, in everything,

time passes,
the heart grows,
I still believe,
time passes,
the heart looks up and out,
time passes,
the heart,
still lies awake,
waiting,
for you.

1-30 The Distance Between Us

at 8:16 in the morning,
I am thinking,

about the way
the road curved,
blue in the evening light,
winding through the wintered
dark stands of fir,
splashes of snow, quilted,
blurry patches rushed by,
he drives

I am thinking,
about the distance between us,
and the not distance
five feet, ten years,
reflected in the windows,
steel blue into green,
we could be,

twins, but he is older,
his beard curls white,
grayer in the last few months,
I've noticed more than I remember,
it happens I suppose,
I'm not supposed to notice these things,
but, he feels, wild, abandoned, patches,
comfortable and uncomfortable,

in his age, and at the same time, I,
am not younger, not in this thought,
five feet, ten years,
reflected in the windows,
he could have been me,
ten years ago,
I have never
been here before,
but the road curves,
familiar, as if there had been
a we, once,

I look over at him.

the road curves between my words,
stands of pine and fir, separate,
we, are almost,

home.

at 8:34 in the morning,
I am still thinking about him,
the road curving, ten years,

down Echo summit,
past the Meyer's gas station,
a left turn on Tahoe Key's blvd,
and then,

my coffee mug is empty,
time to put my contacts in,
the day has already happened,
to him, he is mixing paints,
starting on a new room,
and I need to clean,

ten years, five feet,
the road curving,
stands of fir and sky,

between.

1-29 Driven

this is a get-a-way car,

I drive, crashing into 

my pillows, stuffed with stone

and thistle, wind playing

down the condo, outside

the window, palms pressed to

the glass pushing, the sheets between

us, rolling over so the car

can breathe, from under the sheets,

pushing at the windows, my pillows,

stone and thistle, playing the wind,

crashing my get-a-way car,

down the condo, rolling, over,

between us, into

I drive.,

1-28 Blood and Salsa In The Water

we stuck our toes,
in,
he grinned,
playfully batting his eyes,
thumping his bible,
to hymn number,
one-fifty-seven,
nearer my god to thee,
playfully, his eyes, forgiving,
honest,
the water was warm,
almost hot,
soda water, ginger, cider, and pop,
over,
the growing pile of his,
bone collection, covered in
onion, pork, cheddar, and fork,
grinning, welcoming,
gather ye children and swim with gods,
he roared, grinning, wicked,
wicked
teeth, tone-sharpened, white china gleaming,
pearls in his eyes, innocent,
gather, he faltered,
we hesitated,
notes on a rising scale,
bass, baritone, tenor, and castrato,
screaming under the bubbling, churning water,
chums baptized in the high sea's,
he turned his grin,
in, foam and folly,
nature dripping from his smile,
wicked, wicked, innocent,
teeth always praying, grinning,
singing, in the,
after all,
the water was warm,
so,
disciples of the discipline,
we stuck our toes in and,
followed.

1-27 How Could He Have Known

I say,
with a hmmm,
knees tucked under,
coffee mug, morning light,
in hand, steam forming,
my words, disappearing,
in the fog of
of yesterday's,
thought,

how could he have known?

I frown slightly,
smile, leaving
my lips for the briefest of few,
seconds, savoring,
the taste of, bitter,
chocolate, caramel,
cinnamon lingering,
there, then,
gone

how could he have known?

I told only,
you, swirling into
the coffee cooling, melting,
into the mug,
my hands, quietly,
thinking,
this is where I would,
sigh,
except,

except,
how could he have known?

morning light, still, returning,
notes on a piano, playing,
the coffee mug, a faded photograph,
I would have brought him,
this,

I would have brought him,
bouquets of daffodils,


I would have, but,
knees tucked under,
coffee mug in hand,

how could he have known?

1-26 Revival

awake.

it's a bluegrass kind of morning,
a get in the car,
and get on the road,
kind of morning,

an everything seems possible and pancake,
kind of morning,
a butter on your plate, bacon and fried egg,
kind of morning,

where's this road to take us?
where's this road to take us?

but right back here to you,

awake.

1-25 Hazelnut Flour

thousands of bees are buzzing,
hatching beneath my skin,
crawling up my forearms,
paper wings, rustling within,

thousands of bees are forming,
hives within my eyes,
clawing at the cavities,
desperate to be alive,

thousands of bees are scraping,
constantly scraping away at my insides,
thousands of bees,
wanting, wanting all my mind.