08/29 When You Care (Reprise)

"hey lady"
we can hear
your scream,
drowning,
barrels of heavy,
scalding water,
while you rage
at the green,
once forest,
coughing on steam,
rising from your hands,
as you pray,
forgiveness,
beneath the surface-

when you care.

08-28 The Other Boy

there's nothing more I can think of to say to you...

the words I have left,
are all fingers,
playing a piano three doors down,

you don't want them anymore,
but I think you need them,

because we know hurt,
there is no innocence in our play.
because we know

you must love me.

for the show to go on,
for the band to return,
for the song to end,

you must, but you can't,
and I can't,
but

listen to these keys,
not because I love you,
but because, we know,

you taught me how to sing,
sparrow, please,

don't forget how.

08-27 His Mother Is Crazy For Chai Tea

crazy.
right?
the word,
rolls off of his tongue,
drops ice into the hot,
carefully constructed chai,
tea,
innocent,
curling into the couch,
watching, not listening,
hearing crazy,
(pause)
defenseless I flirt,
clenching the mug,
(this isn't a story, a symptom)

does he know,
I know his mother?

08-26 The Boy Next Door Forgets To Knock

doing what I can,
are you,
going to break it in your hand,
should I,
why can't I turn my back,
around,
spin the bottle on the ground,
kiss you, maybe, when I've found,
doesn't seem to rhyme,
me,
now I know it is me,
what's a guy,
supposed to do,
to me,
climb,
another wall, another boy,
another midnight Cinderella ball,
another wall, I gotta dance,
some other boy, accidental,
romance,
now it's serious,
doing what I can,
babe,
doing what I can,
maybe,
when I wake up,
I might break up,
doing what I can,
maybe then

I'll miss you,
when I dream.

08-25 Once There Was A Way

I've been only waiting...

to hold you?

want to?

can I?

take your,

damn you,

and your,

straight-out singing,
guitar weepin'

nowhere man jiven'
lyric time-keepin'

boots.

first few words,

thirty five years and a penny,

got a quarter for how many,

yesterdays you bricked

across  my cheek,

damn you,

all together now.

should I, could I?

can I? 

will I take these...

08-24 Hot Damn

pink shirt,
hot damn,
short shorts,
torn jeans,
river running,
marble tumbling
cream swirling,
sugar sprinkling,
toes.

grass,
shaking,
standing cedar,
fir bowing, aviators,
blue sky, crashing,
vultures,
up.

wind blows boulders between my ears.

8-23 Welcome back, lover

remember this,
his lips hummed,
low into the sky,
a one a.m. whistle,
to the dipper,
and I,
winked overflowing,
blue aroma of wine, smoking,
unfurling, curling,
into a past-lazy half smile,
before turning the lights off-
whispering,
remember this

08-22 Broke

yesterday

grabbed the sheets,
swore blisters on my fingers,
tried to run,
tried to run,
into a brick wall,
my headboard,
smashing my heart,
smashing my heart,
betrayed,
sobbing,
twisted, clawed,
please, please,
twisted, clawed,
this is,
this is,

you. touched. me.

08-21 Harvest

cider drunk,
from my slumber,
I woke up,
smelling of summer,
in a bed full of peaches-
bruised,

strangling,
in the soft, decaying ripeness of my sheets.

08-20 Petunia's Promise

I promise,
to have and to hold,
to wear white linens,
to go barefoot on the pier,
to open a gluten-free vegan shop that uses sugar (organic raw),
to not untie any more red balloons,
to not edit my words with asterisks,
to remember how the first wind of autumn feels holding your hand
to be a friend when I can be a lover, first,
to be a hugger when I want to be held, first,
to open my eyes, open my eyes, open my eyes,
to be a promise, in the moment, here, now,
which reminds me,

Do you want the strawberry?

08-19 Impossible

touch me,

but,

don't

want me,

don't

look at me,

don't

touch me,

and 

want me,

don't

look at me,

don't

please,

don't

touch me,

and

want me,

and 

look at me,

don't

but,

look,

at me,

touch,

look,

at me,

don't

want.

08-18 5 Years of Vertigo

looking behind him. I
felt,
looking ahead of him,
I felt,
looking down,
I felt,

him, looking at,
him looking at,
him looking,
I felt,

ahead of,
and
behind,
and.
down,

the city that never sleeps,
doesn't  look,
back.

8-17 Duh

miss you like crazy,
kiss you like, maybe
baby, I need you,
want it to be you,
true, I am your baby,
grown up and maybe,
I'll kiss you like, crazy,
missing you baby.

8-16 Two Years Later

we,
were not,
who I wrote,
who were not,
words I spoke,
which were not,
who we were,
which are now,
who we are,
we

08-15 Interview

matchmaker, matchmaker,
I'm out of matches to strike,
mumbling curses and laments,
make him pretty, witty, and bright,
tonight, tonight,
look my moon grows bright,
playing the fiddler,
playing the cool,
oh matchmaker, matchmaker,
were he a rich man,
were he a fool,
I'd find a way, a place,
for one hand in somewhere,
one heart in someday,
matchmaker, matchmaker,
(sigh, swirls in my coffee)

-leafs fall from the trees in Autumn.

08-14 One Week

one.
sigh,
sparkle,
slipping,
finger tip to eye,
one,
more,
and
then.

08-13 Bear

Mister Bear.
He-ey.
Mister.

yeah. you.
Mister.
Mister Bear.

maybe you kissed her,
maybe I did, barely aware,
maybe I did,
kiss her, red curls of hair,
mister, mister,
aren't you, a mister,
should I have kissed her,
ginger and whisker
maybe you shouldn't
maybe I wouldn't,
mister, mister,
Bear.

He-ey.

Mister, mister,
growlin', shakin',
and prayin',
bakin', layin'
and frisky, fore-play-in
the
He-ey,
mister, mister.
ginger and liquor,
kiss her and kiss her
He-ey.
mister, mister,
whaaaaat?

is that a Un-i-corn?
daa-y-ammm.
Mr. Bear. (oh my)

08-12 (Sigh)

velvet ragin',
attachment theory driven',
holdin' on to the desk therapist,
paint shakin', head scrapin',
newspaper clippin',
gurlfriend tskin',
ex loomin',
couldn't stop me,
from wishin'
on your eyes tonight.

08-11 Small Circles Of Joy

This one is not going to be about you.

harvesting-
the first tomato
sharing-
sun-kisses on both cheeks
giving-
the ripeness of August

humming-
the abstract melody
playing-
the first few awkward searching notes
becoming-
the moment of the song

imagining-
the sensation of crumbling texture on the tongue
assembling-
ingredients on the white tiled counter
listening-
to Frank Sinatra  make love to the batter

blurting-
a line of thought in ink forming
shaping-
the curve of the line dripping
posting-
the completeness of body

pushing-
the buttons behind clicking protective glass
revealing-
the eyes sensitive, vulnerable, alive
falling-
in love privately without judgement

and.
one verse for you-

08-09 This Is How You Hold My Hand

we are men,

who know enough,

not to be men,

but,

under flour scent lights,

eating sugar-free, dairy free, ice-cream-

I forget.

08-10 Sparkle

palms cup,
sky-water,
spilling with stars,
into my hands,

that which light passes through,
drink
that which light becomes,
drink
that which light illuminates,
drink
that which light understands,
drink

all my hands,
held in pools of sky-

sparkle

08-08 Ebb (For Leor)

No.
You.
will look at me,
he said,
tasting of salt and foam.

You .
will look at me.

wrapping the fog around
my chest and waist,
tumbling into the glass shards,
of the morning,
flow,

Ebb,
no.

you will look at me,
you are

lost in the roar
of waves,
engulfing,
flowing,

waking.

08-07 The Five Minute Honeymoon

you're not single.
(pop, flash, red lipstick strikes a match burning)

maybe I should have known,
when I found you,
reading a book,
on...
"how to be an adult in a relationship,"
(you should be blowing kisses, 
with a sizzle to my manicured fingernails,
running a line up my thigh)

I don't know you,
and yet...
(music swelling, sweat plastered drummer winks, ass out sideways, cigarette light that lamppost)

you.
you.
you.
arrest a

conjuring,
creating,
catapulting,
invoking,
freaking,
forcing,
manifesting,
outing,
(steps fast down the rainy cobbles)
destiny
of
dynamic,
die-hard,
kinetic,
kaleidoscoping,
evolving,
emo-ing,
warping,
wrist-grabbing,
inverting,
impossibling,
(bent knees, shoulders tight, smoldering sky shimmy)
push me,
take me,
pull me,
touch me,
love me,
trust me,
leave me,
tease me,
toy me,
"oh" me,
boy me,
baaaaaby
(stage lights, electric guitar, and a snap to my glittered heels)

Mister (who are you?)

(dripping a whisper to no one in the darkness clapping,
fade the lights to blue...)

you.
you.
you.

(blonde wig comes off)

he got a key.

08-06 Ten Minutes Into Tomorrow (For Jordan)

morning,
sunshine on a bike,
arrives, sits, together,
hollywood,
stars and wanne be's,
shoulders bear,
direct in my intention,
advice, sensation,
pass the lloyd,
we are close,
two by two,
doors opening on our left,
pass the rose,
you are trapped,
my knee touches yours,
next to me,
but I am not,
moving,
you shift,
processing,
into yourself,
over the bridge,
steel shadows cross,
change, embrace,
your face,
twenty-five times,
can't you see you are blooming?
you ask,
pass the fountain,
ten minutes into tomorrow,
where I sit,
watching you,
run/ walk/ sit
to keep pace,
with the,
doors opening on your right.

08-05 Everything (and Nothing) Reprise

I hate to say it,
(don't say hate)
but he is everything,
I am looking for in a boy.
.and

(in the silence,

the six hours,
of sun rising on the Matterhorn,
the melody, of,  I,
playing on the piano,
in the silence,
I miss you,
I miss you,

I missed you,
in the silence)

I am nothing.

08-04 Closed My Eyes

I'm going to curl into you.

your hand went,
where,
I felt,
blue, yellow,
ribbons,
silk,
sliding down,
over,
green, pink,
ribbons,
silk,
sliding down,
over,
felt,
your hand,
sliding down,
pink, green,
blue, yellow,
ribbons,
sliding down,
over,
your hand,
over
sliding down,
pink, yellow,
sliding down,
silk,
ribbons,
blue, green,
silk,
sliding down,
your hand,
went,
where,
I

felt.
curling into you.

08-03 Wanting

Wanting.

your hands- 

feeling, rubbing, the Dane's ears,

unaware,

the swirling of his fur,

was.

08-02 unwritten love poem

I can't,

love you,
without,

loving you,
the only way,

I can,

love you,
and that,

is,to
love.

you.

08-01 When the Rain Came Down

When the rain came down,
we,
I,
was somewhere,
on the way to an emerald city,
singing in a field of roses,
slumbering the dusk
into an evening song,
when you,
we,
realized the dancing shoes,
had an inscription on the inside,
that ran ink between your toes,
we,
you,
couldn't read the words,
but I had an idea,
as the rain came down,
that I,
we,
could wish the words for you,

let it snow,
let it snow,
let it snow,

and it would be,
for good.

07-30 Two

From where the window,
saw the snowbank drop and curl,
I don't want you to go,
to the black and white glisten of ink and sky,
between the boughing palms of spruce and birch,
-say good-night.